Week 12.5/25: From the Archives
A Special Edition Recap of Our Chai Sessions So Far
Hey chai drinkers!
We’ve hit the halfway mark! It's wild to think about how much content we consume daily and how quickly we forget most of it. So, in this mid-point special edition, I'm giving you a quick recap of the key ingredients we've discussed over the first twelve and a half weeks.
Maximize Early Efforts
“Working hard early in your career to get the leverage and the compounding effects is underrated and one of the most valuable pieces of advice that I never got”
~ Sam Altman
The “How” is the Killer of All Great Dreams
When struggling to reach a goal, stop asking about ‘how’ you will get there. Instead, list your limiting beliefs and turn them into simple and doable actionable tasks.
For example:
List 30 actions that could edge you closer to your goal.
Identify 5-10 people who could support your journey.
Find 5-10 people who have already achieved what you're aiming for.
Close Your Expectation Gaps
Inconvenience Spectrum - At the heart of this concept is the idea that, for the most part, friends are there for you as long as it's convenient for them. However, as the relationship strengthens, the level of inconvenience they're willing to endure—or the amount of convenience they're willing to sacrifice—increases.
When there is a discrepancy between the inconvenience we expect a friend to bear for us and the amount of inconvenience the friend is willing to bear, the situation leads to “the expectation gap.”
To close the gap and reach an expectation equilibrium, we could:
Lower the amount of inconvenience we are willing to accept,
orUrge our friend to increase their level of inconvenience.
Energizing Environments Matter
Our environment can have a significant impact on our social energy. Identify which environment energizes you the most. You’re not required to cut out other ones but remember, it's your choice how much time you want to spend in groups where you're a supporting actor versus groups where you can be the hero.
Impact of Small Moments
As I look back, small moments have had a long-lasting impact on my life, personality, and achievements. Much of my life has been defined by external factors. While we may not have control over every small thing that happens to us, we can work hard to place ourselves in environments, around people, and with opportunities where these smaller things work out in our favor, leading to positive, long-lasting impacts.
After all, these small moments add up to the rest of our lives.
Recognizing Real Friends
These four things will help you identify high-value people:
Consistency in behavior during all times in a relationship is important. If someone acts super close in private but distances themselves in groups, it’s not a positive sign.
A real friend demands your time, not only in their bad times but also in their good times.
People are invaluable when they can acknowledge and help you process any situation or problem. If someone selectively acknowledges certain situations while ignoring the existence of others, it is not a sign of true transparency.
The more inconvenience someone will bear for you, the more valuable they should become to you.
True Luxury Defined
Personalization: Choosing what you own is more rich and luxurious than owning expensive things you didn’t choose. Never mistake expensive things for true luxury.
Allowed Mistakes: Luxury comes from being allowed to make mistakes. An overly safeguarded environment is detrimental to helping you achieve a rich life.
Choice of Location + Company: This determines the quality of daily osmosis. A bad location and poor company can lead to an unfulfilling life, regardless of your monetary status.
Seeking Middle Ground
Past vs. Present: Reflecting on my time in boarding school, I realized I enjoyed life without focusing much on optimizing my time. However, now I feel overly obsessed with optimizing my time for future goals.
Happiness vs. Optimization: While high-school me was content and carefree, present-day me is stressed and struggling to find a balance between enjoying the moment and striving for success.
Dilemma: I'm questioning whether my life has been consistently out of balance as I strive to find a middle ground between contentment and ambition.
Managing Emotions Judgement
Understanding Stoicism: Stoicism is not about suppressing emotions but accepting them. Emotions are part of a three-stage response: Initial Emotion, Judgment, and Final Emotion.
Judgment Stage: The key to managing emotions lies in controlling Judgment (stage II), where we assess the situation's intensity and implications, preventing initial emotions from becoming final emotions.
Practical Example: By acknowledging initial anxiety and reassessing the situation, such as understanding that missing a flight isn't catastrophic, we can moderate our final emotional response and reduce anxiety.
Emotion is the third and final stage of a situational response. Don't blame yourself for initial reactions; focus on assessing your judgment to ensure a reasoned final emotion.
False Productivity
I've discovered a new form of procrastination called Procrastiworking, defined as making yourself busy with other productive tasks to avoid the one you need to do. Tasks like cleaning my room, planning my day, or helping others often become my escape from completing important tasks. This makes me realize that I might be just as prone to procrastination as anyone else, despite feeling productive.
Being busy doesn't necessarily mean being productive. During my full-time job, I felt constantly occupied and didn't feel guilty about falling behind. However, when I took a break, I realized my perceived productivity was a false sense of accomplishment. The busyness masked my procrastination, making me avoid answering the crucial question of what I wanted to do in my career.
Society often pressures us to stay busy, equating it with productivity. Earlier, when people talked about their hectic lives, I used to feel envious. Now, I question if they're avoiding something more significant.
Eliminating the shoulds from our lives can help us focus on what truly matters and find genuine fulfillment.
Résumé vs. Eulogy Virtues
David Brooks' article The Moral Bucket List differentiates between résumé virtues (skills and achievements) and eulogy virtues (character and kindness). Despite career success, Brooks feels a lack of depth, prompting reflections on how we often prioritize résumé virtues over eulogy virtues as we grow older.
We tend to overlook eulogy virtues like empathy and honesty in favor of advancing our careers. This shift can lead to actions that conflict with our values, such as overworking employees or prioritizing personal gain over helping others. Conversely, it's rare for eulogy virtues to shape our résumé virtues.
The dilemma lies in why we prioritize résumé virtues when eulogy virtues are deemed more important. Résumé virtues offer direct, tangible benefits, whereas eulogy virtues provide indirect and intangible rewards. Observing people with worse virtues succeeding further has complicated my decision of which virtues to prioritize.
Weekly Health Hack - Rest Day Alert!
Attention chai lovers! This week, I'm calling for a rest day. You've been working hard, so take a break, relax, and recharge.
Enjoy your day off—you deserve it!
Weekly Non-Stereotypical Song Recommendation
Thank You For Reading!
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I'd love to hear from you — thoughts, health tips, song recommendations, or anything at all.
Reach out to me!
~ Email: kanavghai130@gmail.com