Week 18/25: Turning the Page

Embracing Change

Jul 18, 2024

Hello chai drinkers ☕️,

Thanks for tuning in. For the past couple of posts, I’ve stopped trying to promote this newsletter on social media. Like most of my groceries, I wanted to keep things organic.

I have officially left India after a short ten-month stint. In the coming weeks, our sessions will move to London and Croatia. This is the first post I'm writing on a flight, and it turns out that being productive in the air only looks cool in movies. For those unaware, I'll be on the ocean with my incoming MBA classmates for eight days. I first read about Yacht Week in an article in the journal. A couple of years later, I can't believe I'm going to live that experience.

*Chai Drinkers*, don’t worry that isn’t coffee

Farewell Moments

During my time in India, I had the opportunity to reconnect with friends and family. The surprising part though, was the lack of emotion I felt while leaving. I didn’t reminisce on the last ten months, who I met, what I learned, and the things I was going to miss. Quite unorthodox for me. This got me thinking, “Was I always this good at goodbyes?”

Quite the contrary. As a child, I was always overly emotional and romanticized everything. A friend’s breakup used to hit me harder than the friend itself. Series finales were tough to digest. Goodbyes seemed like the hardest thing to do and staying attached to the past was a usual side effect. As I begin yet another chapter in my life, I think back to all the times I’ve had to do it before. In 2011, I left home for boarding school. In 2016, I left my closest friends and the 84 acres I called home for six years. After seven years in LA, I moved to NYC, which only lasted a year before I was forced to move to India. Now, I have to move back to NYC and start, again. I guess doing it so many times has desensitized me.

I often wonder, whether this is normal, or if it’s a bad trait to be this unattached to things in life. Will this mean I have no strong relationships in life? Would I be a bad friend? Would I be a bad partner? Would I be a bad parent?

“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again”

~ Charles Dickens

Jasper 🐶

One thing I do miss as I write this on my flight, is my dog, Jasper. Even during my time in India, I barely spent any time with him. But, moving to a country where I’ll be living alone, he seems like the perfect missing piece. I love my alone time, but being alone all the time is boring and I feel too old to deal with another human 24/7. Jasper would be my perfect partner. Instead of reminiscing, I’m imagining a life where he would live with me. Give me attention when I need and let me be whenever I want alone time.

I recently read that puppies cry at night because they crave human touch. That’s why they often sleep at the foot of the bed where they can feel secure with just being in touch with our feet. I guess I’m in a similar boat these days: not quite ready to cuddle, but some passive company would make me feel secure and at ease.

Back to School 📚

By twenty-four, I had accepted that I didn’t have the best social skills. Then, during an all-hands meeting at Casper, I heard the cheerful CFO talk about how he used to be more serious and reserved. He mentioned that only later in life did he go through a personality shift. That got me thinking, if he could do it, why couldn’t I? Since then, I’ve actively tried to improve my ability to meet and talk to new people. It’s still a struggle at times, but I have become much better.

As I prepare to go back to school, some of the struggles from my time at UCLA come to mind. Leaving the safe boarding school community for the first time, I initially struggled to make strong, genuine connections at such a big university. It took me almost a year to make any. Though I’ve changed quite a bit, I still fear facing the same struggles. The good thing? I’m more mindful of this fear, and like other challenges in life, I believe I need to play for the upside. Don’t worry, chai readers, I’ll keep you all in the loop and share my experiences in the coming weeks!

On the brighter side, I’m excited to be part of a community again. During visits to my family's hometown, I usually go through wardrobes hoping to find some old treasures. It's one of my favorite things. This time, while sorting out some paperwork, I recently came across the final issue of "The Weekly" which was published for my batch during our high school years, just before we graduated.

*The Doon School Weekly,* Issue No. 2437

Every week, I would jump straight to the Dosco Doodle and the Unquotable Quotes sections. The final page offered end-of-term entertainment recommendations for students about to leave for summer break. Thinking back to when Suits had only 6 seasons or when UEFA Euro ~~2024~~ 2016 was around the corner, fills me with nostalgia. Time truly has flown. Maybe some part of me hopes these chai sessions will serve the same purpose in the future.

Also, can you believe we’ve already had eighteen chai sessions!? I certainly cannot.

Weekly Health Hack - Two Percent with Michael Easter

This week, I want to take a moment to recommend another Substack publication that I believe you'll find incredibly valuable. It contains a wealth of super interesting and insightful information on a wide range of topics related to health and wellness.