Quarter-Life Chai-sis
Growth, Grit, and a Bit of Gossip in the 25th Edition of CwG
Hello again, my chai drinkers, I’ve missed you! Today’s edition marks a significant milestone: our 25th post! When I started this newsletter, 25 was the target I set to build the discipline and accountability required to stick with this endeavor. As one might say today, I’ve somehow dabbled my way to this milestone.
Year One ✅
I also officially completed Year 1 of my MBA at Columbia this month. At CBS, we have a tradition called CBS Matters where you create a PowerPoint and walk through your life, often diving deep into your childhood, personality, trauma, or anything else that has shaped you.
For those who aren’t at CBS—and for those who couldn’t make it to my presentation but have asked what I spoke about—here’s the biggest takeaway from my own life:
Looking back, I see a stark contrast between this educational experience and the ones I’ve had before. In the past, I lived as a risk-averse person, always trying to minimize downside. Certain experiences had wired me to believe that something could go wrong at any moment. So, in high school and at UCLA, I mostly stayed off the radar, avoiding participation, rarely speaking up unless necessary. I craved stability (monotony), but that was leading me to live a life that felt too small. I was willing to forgo the 99% probability of good just to avoid the 1% chance of bad.
This time around, though, I promised myself I’d play for the upside instead—to put myself out there. And I have. Sure, the 1% bad showed up. But the 99% good? Worth it.
The Good (99%)
Most of you already know the usual upsides of an MBA—friendships, travel, parties, and classes. Plenty of people are already posting about those things, so I thought I’d share a few of my more unique favorite aspects of this experience from the past year:
Rebooted
Over the years, because we typically tend to remain close friends with more or less the same people, I found it challenging to escape the personality I’d already built, even when I genuinely wanted to. The MBA allowed me to redefine who I am. Despite previously trying this with my college and high-school friends, I would often revert to the shy, under-confident person I used to be. However, in this new experience with completely new people, I finally had the chance to become the hero of my own story.
In a recent conversation with a friend, I realized that, much like her, I associate the cities I've lived in with the person I was while living there. My hometown in India reminds me of stalled growth, while LA brings back memories of being a risk-averse 21-year-old living like a 50-year-old. Visiting these places (and my former selves, in a sense) feels great initially, while the nostalgia lasts—but soon enough, I start feeling trapped, my fight-or-flight instinct kicking in again.
Can’t Be Everywhere
Truth be told, so much happens during the MBA that it's inevitable—you have to pick and choose where to spend your time. In my opinion, that’s one of the biggest advantages of the experience. It teaches you the value of your time and trains your mind to be at peace with making choices—and letting some opportunities go. There's always too little time (or at least it feels that way), but the constant FOMO you feel in the first few weeks slowly transforms into JOMO- the joy of missing out. And once that shift happens, you start feeling genuinely content with the choices you make.
Multiple Paths, Same Destination
One of the biggest upsides of the MBA has been meeting folks from diverse professional and cultural backgrounds. A key revelation for me was realizing that different paths can lead to the same destination. Naturally, we’ve all lived different lives, worked in different industries, and grown up in different geographies—so our approaches and perspectives often differ. But through countless group projects, debates, and late-night conversations, I came to see that there isn’t just one “right” way to reach a goal. There are many. The challenge and the fun are figuring out which path you have the most faith in.
The Bad (1%)
Eliminate the Noise 🗣️🙉?
Charles Horton Cooley once said, “I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”
The 1% bad that came with the MBA? The unexpected weight of being seen.
In the past, I stayed under the radar—quiet, low-profile, rarely drawing much attention. But this year, by showing up more and putting myself out there, I also became more visible, and with visibility came opinions. I became aware of things being said about me, some of them unkind, and even when I tried not to let it bother me, it did.
There were moments of anxiety, second-guessing, self-doubt, and even anger. I’m still learning how to deal with it, but here is one realization has brought me a lot of relief:
And like the Beatles so perfectly put it, I get by “with a little help from my friends.”
When Memory Plays Favorites
I often find myself puzzled by how my memory works. I forget some of the most glaringly obvious, easy-to-remember things—yet certain random conversations are stuck in my mind. One such moment, while Like a Rolling Stone played in the background, was a conversation with a school friend who once asked me:
“KG, do you know why all old songs are so good?”
“Why, bro?” I asked, curious.
“Because we only remember the good ones.”
It was something completely random, but it has stayed with me all these years—I’d never thought about it that way before. A couple of years after this conversation, I studied this very song in a “History of Rock’ n Roll” class at UCLA, where I learned that it had initially caused Dylan to face backlash for its unconventional style from his traditional folk fans. Only with time did it become one of the greatest songs of all time.
So when I think about “eliminating the noise” during the MBA, maybe the lesson is this: just be who you want to be, stay plugged in (literally and metaphorically), and trust that one day, people might see the greatness in you too :p.
The Miscellaneous Tidbits
A Great Read
If you’re struggling to cut down on screen time and can’t quite figure out why you’re constantly checking your phone (I couldn’t either), I found this Substack read particularly insightful.
A Great Progress Tracker
Ever heard of the Wheel of Life activity? It’s a simple exercise where you rate different aspects of your life—social, family, professional, financial, etc., out of 10 to see which areas might need more attention. I found a great free, automated Notion template you can duplicate and use: Click Here
A Great Song
A Great Quote (From James Clear’s Weekly Newsletter)
“Not everything blooms in spring. Your season might be autumn. Keep going.”
Thank You for Reading!
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I'd love to hear from you — thoughts, health tips, song recommendations, or anything at all.
Reach out to me!
~ Email: kanavghai130@gmail.com
25 cups down and still spilling the tea! ☕
Congratulations on hitting this milestone, Kanav! From dabbling to discipline, this chai-flavored journey has brewed up just the right mix of sass, substance, and self-growth. Can’t wait for the 50th—hopefully with fewer existential chai-sis and more gossip. Keep steeping, sipping, and serving it hot!