On Growth, Luck, and Letting Go

Chai with Ghai

Hello chai drinkers, I'm back sooner than you expected! I hope you enjoy this one, and as always, feel free to reach out!

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The Digits I Left Behind

Next year will mark ten years since I graduated from boarding school. Back in school, every student was assigned a unique number along with a house (mine was 130-Jaipur). At some level, these numbers became mental ID cards for us, deeply ingrained in our memories.

For the past couple of years, whenever I go to the gym and use the lockers, I play a small mental game: I avoid noting the actual locker number. Instead, I challenge myself to recall whose number it corresponds to from school, and I spend a moment remembering that person. It’s a fun way of thinking about someone I might not have thought about for years while also being able to memorize the number.

172-J, 130-J, & 126-J

However, recently I’ve started having trouble matching some numbers with the right names. It’s made me conscious of my fading memory and brought an unsettling awareness that I'm gradually forgetting the very people who shaped my early years.

I suppose this is simply how life works—we remember clearly only those we truly choose to hold onto.

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Recalibrating My Relationships

Last week in my entrepreneurship class, I learned that a company’s Unique Selling Proposition (USP) can never simply be a feature—it must always be a benefit.

The professor further emphasized that many companies mistakenly highlight features as their USP, a common mistake that causes them to lose out in the long run.

a list of company USPs from class

Reflecting on this idea, I've realized that I've often viewed the value people bring to relationships in terms of their features—qualities or traits like discipline, loyalty, or ambition. However, much like a successful company's USP, perhaps the real measure of value isn't these features themselves, but rather the direct benefit I derive from these relationships. Instead of focusing solely on characteristics or actions, I should pay closer attention to how someone actually makes me feel—do they leave me energized, supported, or inspired?

This realization has led me to think more intentionally about my friendships, specifically about how I invest my time and energy. I've started questioning my previous metric—"time spent together" (digitally or in-person)—as a way to judge relationship strength. Using “time spent together” as the main measure is fundamentally flawed, as it represents an output rather than an input. The inputs driving this outcome are either me reaching out for someone’s time or someone reaching out for mine.

So in a particular relationship, whenever I sense that I'm initiating most interactions—planning meetups, starting conversations—I step back, checking if the other person reciprocates. If they rarely or never reach out on their own, it becomes clear that the relationship was largely sustained by my effort alone. Recognizing this helps me recalibrate my expectations.

I guess what this really means is that, going forward, not everyone will get to have Chai with Ghai.

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Discipline, Luck, and the Asymmetry in Life

I frequently find myself comparing my progress to those around me. Sometimes, I feel that although I’m doing everything by the book—striving to become just 1% more disciplined every day—others, following a far more relaxed approach, seem to have things come easily to them. Do you ever feel a similar way?

I know this mindset isn't productive or healthy, as it often drains my motivation and energy. However, in a recent conversation, a friend mentioned that he often feels the same way. What keeps him going is the belief that, in the long run, his disciplined effort will eventually outperform those who rely purely on luck. He pointed out that the people he compared himself to ten years ago aren't the same ones he compares himself to now because those earlier comparisons no longer reflect where he wants to be today. I guess we never really do run out of people to compare ourselves with.

thrifted sweatshirt from Tokyo

I once read that luck is what happens when opportunity meets preparation. While I can't directly control the opportunities that come my way, I can certainly focus on what I can control—my preparation. So, I’ll keep pushing, staying ready for when opportunity eventually knocks. Make sure you keep pushing too, chai drinkers!

Luck = Opportunity x Preparation

Thank You for Reading!

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